I’ve been an idiot. How many years have dragged by while I suffered (not in silence!), bemoaning almost my very existence on this rock; how many years have I struggled, often greatly, with this lot we call life? How many sad, dark poems have I written expressing how rotten my life is? Way too many years, and way too many poems.
And the solution to my dilemma, my endless torments, literally stared me in the face all the time. It was right there. I was just too dumb, or too prideful, or too “I know-it-all”, or too [insert anything you can add here]. Too damn blind. I should have known better, but I didn’t.
Eight long years spent blind. Unable–or unwilling–to do a damn thing about it (although I spent a small fortune on self-help books). Hell, that’s a lot of needless suffering. But I knew best, and so I decided I would go on a self-torture rampage. I decided I would create my very own personal hell and no-one was gonna take it from me. And yes, I had 13 years sober so I knew it all, didn’t I? I lived in hell, without even picking up a drink.
Tonight, I went to an AA meeting for the first time in eight long years.
Tonight, I returned home. Thank you God.